So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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