Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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