used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
