is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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