worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
