Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
