My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
