Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
