Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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