I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
