what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
