So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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