weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So many bounce houses so little time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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