I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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