We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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