You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
