my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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