i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
