erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
