just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm passing your future prison.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
