Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
