i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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