She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
