It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
