When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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