He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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