Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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