I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
