24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
