So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
