So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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