I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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