I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
