Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
