sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
