Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
