Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
