well I can't set my house on fire every night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
