Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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