i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The ass gains better be worth it
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