There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do vagina's smell?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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