We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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