I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dick very happy bro
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
