There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
