Your dad touched me again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
