He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
