My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
