if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
