dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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