Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
